11 Ways Overthinking Can Ruin Relationships

by admin

img source: mattmcwilliams

We all do it sometimes. Some do it more, some less. Though, it seems like an innocent and harmless enough employment, it may bring you more trouble than you anticipate.

And when you overthink, as is the inclination, you tend to think more negative rather than positive. This in turn makes you assume the worst, you tend to become paranoid and well, let’s say you are not at your best whenever this happens.

While overthinking and constant worrying can prove somewhat beneficial to your job or when making plans, because you are always ready with a Plan B for any impending disaster, it is less than ideal when you do it for your relationships. Doubting a person or a situation regarding that person without enough cause, can lead to hardships in your relationship, no matter how understanding the other person is.

Let’s see the numerous way you can go about messing it up!

It stops you from being at your best

You are constantly at the edge and are having minor cardiac arrests (kidding)! Overthinking does that you. Paranoia doesn’t take much time to turn into neurosis. If you are very quick to act on what you think, you’ll never be able to resolve conflicts! At this rate, you’ll just jump from one relationship to the next, or just develop a fear of relationships in the long run. And even if you manage to persist, you’ll just make yourself sick with choked emotions.

It changes you as a person

It may just turn you obsessive compulsive! Do you want to be the one, constantly pushing people to their limit till they burst?

You take things to the extreme level

If things go wrong, you blame the other person predetermined-ly. Or better yet, you blame yourself for everything! You either forget to read between the lines, or read between them too much. You constantly try to interpret every action of your beau or partner, and you opinion becomes more absolute than the truth at the end!

You are never happy

You are the one standing between you and happiness with all that anxiety, fear and doubt. When you overthink, you start to build up a lot of expectations, both good and bad. And when those expectations are crushed or overwhelmed, you are deflated, either out of disappointment or relief, given the situation. As, a result the feeling of happiness can never hit you with an impact. You can never be taken by surprise!

You can’t discriminate

Overthinking stops you from distinguishing the good and the bad, i.e. (what suits you and your needs). And when you think too much about your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’ll never know what a good and a bad relationship is. Frankly, no one is perfect and if you are out and about to pick on people, you won’t be taken kindly to, at least not for long. If you love someone, you will need to accept them as they are. And if you can’t, then maybe they are not the person for you!

You can’t find solutions, you only complicate

 Instead of solving problems, you will be out and about to trace new ones. Or even if a problem’s solved you’ll never stop seeing it as a problem. Something will always tick you off. And this in turn will keep your partner on his/her toes. Remember, no one should have to be perpetually apologetic to someone, unless they have committed some heinous crime!

Your plans go awry

Remember, no matter how much you try, you cannot always get things to go according to your plan. Negative and over thinking, can actually have an effect on how things work out.

You forget to live

You live out your life thinking about the future and deducting the possibilities of your partner’s moves or actions. As a result, you miss out the here and now, overlooking the things that you should appreciate!

You create fiction

Overthinking leads to a lot of unnecessary drama. It heightens your impression of everything that is taking place! You keep analyzing anger and affection, and build up reserves of jealousy, resentment and doubt. You start living in your own stories, and determine the end of an action. Do not take your real life for granted!

You overly compare your partner

Everyone compares their partner to past relationships and other random people to feel good. It’s an unconscious and inevitable reaction. But please stop obsessing over specifics! You don’t want to be criticized over petty things, do you? If not, then neither does the other person!

You set up people to fail

Overthinking as you do, you forget that a relationship is a two way thing. You forget to check yourself, and set ridiculous tests and expectations for the other person, just to satisfy your own doubt and indecision. And you are hurt in turn when they don’t pass those! That is not the way to go about a relationship!

Please get a hold of yourself, if all these things apply to you. Otherwise, you are out to ruin your life! Please descend to reality. It’s not as grand as your world, but neither is it as troublesome as there!

By

Rima Mukherjee 

Author- SuccessYeti