Allow Her Space
Perhaps your friend is simply depressed and requires some space. Friendships ebb and flow; you come together, then you drift apart. It is the human relationship dance. Your friend, no matter how close you are, has the right to solitude, space, and, yes, secrets. Perhaps she is under stress at work, in her marriage, or with her family. Just because she’s behaving strangely doesn’t imply you’re to blame.
Have Faith in Your Gut
If you’ve given your buddy space and she continues to act weirdly toward you, there may be something wrong with the nature of your connection, or she may feel anger toward you. Maybe she’s going through some emotional or psychological turmoil, and as her friend, you’re worried about her. If you have the feeling that something is wrong, it is most likely wrong.
Make a Time to Talk
Invite your friend to meet you at a certain location and time. You don’t have to tell her you want to discuss her behavior. You might just tell her that you’ve missed her and want to catch up. If she’s been lonely or distant recently, she might try to find an excuse not to meet up. Be willing to work around her schedule.
Compassionate Confrontation
You may be feeling bitter and blown off if you feel slighted by your friend’s recent actions. However, if you approach your chat with hatred and bitterness against your buddy, accusing or blaming her, she is likely to shut down, even more, further distancing herself from you. Instead, approach her with kindness, openness, and curiosity.
Listen
It’s now your chance to listen after you’ve stated your piece. Again, compassion and openness will be far more beneficial than judgment and condemnation. Allow her to talk without interruption, and offer her your support with gentle eye contact and, if appropriate, physical touch. You should be aware that you might not want to hear what she has to say. Perhaps she wants to express her hatred toward you. She may also be unwilling to say anything at all.
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