The first step in negotiating these difficult situations is to become aware of the characteristics you find ugly or objectionable in others; make a list if it helps. Then recognize that these are attributes that you may possess as well. Make peace with your inner and outside qualities.
Identifying the source of your annoyance and accepting that each individual is inherently different and distinct, and expecting others to be like ourselves is an irrational demand.
When we despise someone, we often view them in black or blue hues of hatred and contempt. Because of these feelings, we are biased towards them and do not appreciate whatever they say or do. Before reacting or becoming frustrated when it is tough to regulate your negative emotions, ask yourself simple questions such as “would it matter to me in a year?” or “what if I?”
Try making a conscious decision before you. Following this stop, you’ll be able to proceed with a somewhat more open mind and heart. When dealing with people you don’t like, the word “pause” can be very effective. Stop, take a deep breath, and mentally replay the incident, or allow yourself space and time to reflect on the conclusion or consequence of your reaction. Make a conscious effort to suspend your judgment for a moment and contemplate with a clear mind and heart.
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